Redirecting loyalty - Polluxism - Hades (Supergiant Games Video Games) [Archive of Our Own] (2024)

Hypnos remembers Endymion and his beautiful youth. When they met, even Hypnos was youthful. A young man, as man as a god could be (as gender and sexuality was as fluid as the waters of Poseidon’s domain). They were perfect for eachother, Hypnos had thought. He told Hypnos stories as he lulled Endymion to sleep. He caressed his light strands of hair as Endymion whispered lovely affections to him.

“What’s your biggest fear?” Endymion had asked him, their limbs tangled against his bed. Hypnos rarely came to the surface for he loved the comforting darkness of his father and his realm. The feeling of dreams passing through his own realm, as he would free as many mortals from nightmares as he could. The red of his poppy fields, the scent of lavender as he laid near the lethe.

Hypnos had none. Nothing scared him, nothing that made him tremble at the mere thought of it happening to him. There were no thoughts that drowned Hypnos in anguish. He had definitely been afraid before, like when Atropos began chasing him with an axe because he had accidentally pissed her off or when the first time he tricked Zeus into slumber and when he finally woke, he attacked Hypnos. Forever, he altered the godling’s ability to float and teleport and Hypnos would always feel the memory when Zeus ripped one of his wings out of his head. Bodily mutilation. It was terrifying but it did not make his world succumb to unwanted darkness. Perhaps not darkness, but nothing. A void, similar to where his grandparent resided.

“Nope.” Hypnos grinned, remembering the spot in his hair where a wing would never reside again. “What about you?”

Endymion smiled back at him through drowsy eyes. “To become old and wrinkled. To become ugly.”

Hypnos was naive. Hypnos had yet to be whipped into wails by love. “I would still love you wrinkly. You’ll always be my Endymion.”

Endymion closed his eyes. “I wouldn’t love you old.” He jested, good thing he was a god. He didn’t get old. Hypnos would swear he was joking. Hypnos would cry at his sister’s side, he was just joking he had sobbed. They were in love. They loved each other. He ended up leaving, abandoning him for the moon incarnate. For his own sister (foster sister that is). Hypnos had learned his biggest fear and Endymion never got to meet his.

Afterwards, years, a millennia after, he met Endymion again. He wanted to caress his face, kiss his hair. Endymion wanted none of that. He looked at Hypnos cruelly. Like the god was below him. He was a beautiful mortal, who was loved by multiple gods and Hypnos was just the god no mortal didn’t want, not even by his own (now ex) lover. Hypnos would’ve let him. He would have done anything for the, now deified, mortal’s love.

“You loved me, right?” Hypnos asked. Endymion didn’t answer.

“What did I do wrong? Tell me, Endymion. Please.”

Endymion stared at him for a moment, distant gray, moon-like eyes. Hypnos remembered how he used to stare in those eyes as he slept.

“You couldn’t make me what I wanted, Hypnos. Selene could. You weren’t enough.” His words were cold. Rigid, frigid like Demeter’s winters.

Endymion sat down, flattening his greek tunic. His shepherd’s crook laid beside his calves. He ignored the shattered expression on Hypnos’ face. The patheticness of the sleep incarnate. He pulled a poppy out of the ground. It brought awful memories back, perhaps Hypnos might drink out of his lethe himself.

“What’s that?” Endymion had asked, pointing to a flower near Hypnos’ foot. Usually Hypnos knew very little about plants outside of his small circle of sleep inducing herbs. However, this one was an opium poppy. Currently in Greece it was used as an intense painkiller, later to get high.

“It’s a poppy, my dearest.” Hypnos touched the petals gently. “It’ll help you rest if you use it correctly. They’re wonderful flowers. They’re my favorite, they have-”

“It was a simple question. I don’t need you to ramble about a mere flower. Not that important.” Endymion told him with a yawn. Hypnos gave a nervous nod. He would learn to be quiet when others wished him so. Years later, Hypnos had yet to learn how to tell when others wished him quiet.

Endymion was still sitting, holding the red flower that ignited such a passion in Hypnos. He would later meet a god that would let him talk about the poppy flower for what seemed to be hours.

“I don’t think you ever were enough. Nor will you. That’s why I didn’t love you.” Endymion answered, crushing the poppy flower in his hand. He left, leaving a crumpled, weeping Slumber incarnate. Crying over a flower or the words that had been told to him by someone he had adored. His love was not enough, he was not enough to keep someone around. To keep the person that mattered most to him around.

Thanatos would watch from a distance as Hypnos grieved. He grieved for a thousand years, bitterness residing on his twin’s tongue as he watched Hypnos cry in anguish over a mortal that was not worth it. Thanatos had met lots of animals, he enjoyed dogs. He thought Hypnos would too, an animal so fiercely loyal. Something he believed Hypnos needed in a companion. Another part of him believed that Hypnos needed to just get on with his life. To stop moping around, to stop sulking. It wasn’t a good look. Erebus, their father, tried talking to Thanatos about it. They’re just too different.

“Father.” Thanatos didn’t mean to growl his father’s name.

“You two are just too different.” Erebus persisted. He was always soft, too comforting. He needed to be more strict like mother.

“No we aren’t. We’re twins. He’s just straying from who he should be.”

“Who is he supposed to be like? You? Who is to say, maybe you’re the one straying.” Thanatos didn’t answer. Thanatos liked dogs, so loyal. They were a stability in mortal lives. They never changed or left until they would eventually pass away. His father knew this.

“Thanatos.” His father sighed. “What makes a dog mean? What makes them bite?”

Thanatos blinked. “They’re usually protecting.”

“Someone?”

“Sometimes. or themselves. Especially themselves if they’re on their own. However aggression from a usually domesticated dog or animal means it has a mistrust in mortals.” Thanatos answered.

“Say a dog is mistreated, do they always follow the path of aggression?” Erebus asked.

“No, father. Some become even more loyal to their abusers. They would sit and wait around for their owner, even if they mistreated them. It’s awful and miserable.”

His father looked at him with something that could be similar to hope. Erebus did not expect high standards of his children, he hoped. For the spots his wife did not fill in their children’s hearts, he tried to fix.

“Why do you ask?” Thanatos asked him.

“I hope one day you’ll understand.” Erebus said and faded into darkness. He hoped.

The second time Hypnos swept Zeus into sleep, he only did it because Hera promised him a love. A love that wouldn’t leave him. One that would truly love him back. She did love him, in some weird, obscure way. As obscure as Pasithea was.

She left though, Hypnos begged her not to.

“This is why, Hypnos.” She said with that smoky voice. She meant no harm. “You’re just.. You want to love me. You need to love me yet you’re scared.”

“I’m not scared. Just- Pasithea.” Hypnos looked at her as if his world was ending. “Please. You can treat me however you like. Don’t leave please. I need you. I love you.”

Pasithea jerked her hands away from Hypnos. “No you don’t, Hypnos. You’re a wonderful god. You’re sweet and you deserve someone good. But you want someone but you don’t want me. You-” She sighed, growing irritated. Hypnos wanted her to yell at him, just don’t leave him. “Please, Hypnos. I need you to realize that you’re worth something.”

She then finally left Hypnos physically. It didn’t hurt as much as Endymion though. Hypnos struggled to understand Pasithea and her words. Maybe she just didn’t understand him. He decided that was it, he was always a stubborn god.

Then Zagreus left. Hypnos risked everything, and like usual Hypnos wondered what he did wrong. He tried so hard. He was nice and friendly. He usually was. What was wrong with him? He buried these feelings deep down, as he did with every worry. He had a job in Hades’ court and his own godly duties to attend to. He didn’t have time to unpack that no one wanted to be around him. The crushing feeling of loneliness.

Hypnos compartmentalized. He would give these fearful feelings to people who deserved them, in their dreams. He gave tyrants nightmares of betrayal and killers visions of karmic debt.

Hypnos floated around the realm of Erebus. The darkness comforted the little bit of him that could be. Dark circles deepened under his usually golden eyes. They weren’t so golden at the moment, dull under his weighted misery.

Speaking of misery.

“Dearest brother..” A voice spoke solemnly, quietly, as if she was afraid someone was going to yell at her if she spoke at an audible level.

“Oh? Hi Oizys!” Hypnos chirped. It hurt his mouth to smile, as his face wanted to contort it into a frown. He’ll be okay. He’ll be okay..

Oizys’ eyebrows pinched together, as if she was hit with an overwhelmingly nauseating smell. “You reek.”

Hypnos let out a husky laugh. Proof he was quite taken aback. “Well! That’s not very nice.”

“Have you had a nightmare recently?”

Yes he had. “Nope! Why do you ask?”

“You reek.” Oizys repeated. “I can smell the misery on you. What’s wrong, Hypnos?” Right. How could Hypnos forget! Oizys, goddess of pain, incarnate of distress. She overall ruled the senses of mental pain, anxiety, and depression. She could sense those things, like people’s suffering pervading the air.

“Wow. Such a keen nose! This must be how I always smell.” Hypnos said, looking away and around for his exit route.

“You should take care of yourself.” Oizys muttered. Wow, No way! “Have you talked to Philotes about this? She could-”

Hypnos grabbed her wrists, quieting her. He, with such a strong will, fought the primal urge to viciously sob at the intense pain that her touch induced into him. “No need. I don’t have a ‘this’ to discuss with her! Farewell, my loveliest sister!” Hypnos forced his smile to the point it caused sharp, knife-like pains in his cheeks.

The second Hypnos closed his door, he sank to the floor and sobbed into his hands.

—

“Child.” Nyx greeted. Zagreus smiled back at her, flexing his sore fingers. “How is your progress going?”

Zagreus smiled. “Amazing. I’m getting so much better at beating father. My mother is just- it’s unreal. She’s just-”

Nyx placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “No need. I understand what you’re saying. Persephone has always been an amazing woman.” Then quiet fell upon them. Zagreus watched as she bit her lip.

“What is it, Nyx?” He asked.

“You are close with Hypnos, yes?”

“I guess..” Zagreus fought everything so he would not grin. He loved it, him and Hypnos. Dying was so much better when Hypnos was right there when he walked out of the Styx. It was to the point that Zagreus would frown if Hypnos was not at his post when he was revived. “Why?”

“I fear it is not my place to meddle but..” He is her child, Erebus argued with her. She’s allowed to worry and help him. She has the power to not make the same mistakes as Chaos, as Erebus had pointed out to her in a heated argument. At the rate she was going, her relationship with her youngest was going to be identical to her relationship with her creator. “I am worried for Hypnos.”

Zagreus blinked, a bit confused. It never occurred to him really that Hypnos felt such negative emotions as he had never seen it affect the guy. “Why?”

“Does he know you’re tied to the realm?” She asked him.

Zagreus coughed. “Not that I’m aware of. I haven’t mentioned it.”

“My son, well, I won’t say much but many people who were important to him have left him. I am worried about how he is taking, what he presumes is his friend leaving. In his eyes, you are leaving him.”

“I would never-” Zagreus’s brows furrowed, defensively.

“I know you wouldn’t, child.” Nyx answered, flicking her gaze away from the distant Hypnos.

“Why haven’t you tried telling him that? Who’s left him? I haven’t heard anything of that sort-”

“Your eternal tie to this realm is your’s to tell, it was not my place.” Nyx said. She was battling herself internally. It isn’t her place to tell Hypnos Zagreus’ situation yet she is telling him Hypnos’. Perhaps she had been treating Hypnos unfairly afterall. More unfair than she ever meant to. “I can’t tell you that. It's a betrayal to him for me to leak such deeply private information. I just wanted you to know enough to help him,”

Zagreus huffed, looking up at her. “Alright. Yeah.” Zagreus had simply said through a deep breath as he ran his hand through his black hair. It was still damp with blood.

Zagreus had died quite easily, as he was trying out the bow, a weapon he wasn’t very good with.

Hypnos woke as he approached. Looking at his list, giggles burst out of him. “Woah! Died of Magma? Zag! Are you backtracking progress? You haven’t died of that in ages! Hm, well maybe when it starts getting really hot, walk out of it!”

Zagreus looked at him in such a weird way. Like he was trying to figure him out, read every tone of him as if it were a puzzle piece. Maybe then, he could piece Hypnos back together. Which was just so unusual to him because he had no idea Hypnos was even hurting. That ached him the most, for how much he treasured the house greeter, he didn’t even realize the pain Nyx thought he was experiencing. He prayed she was wrong.

“Have you taken your break yet?” Zagreus asked.

Hypnos tilted his head. “Woah. Got a nectar you want to share? Are you asking me on a date? Well, are you!”

Zagreus stifled a laugh. “No, mate.” He wanted to. A deep urge in him wanted to hold Hypnos. It confused him greatly, Hypnos was just his friend. He knew though, he loved Hypnos. He loved him so much more than he knew his body was capable of. “Could you meet me in my room? I want to talk to you in private.”

Zagreus didn’t miss the short flash of fear in Hypnos’ golden irises. It was gone just a second later, it made Zagreus wonder how much Hypnos had been hurting.

Hypnos whistled, not loudly. Hypnos was never very loud, much like his brother, he himself hated really loud noises. Zagreus assumed it also had something to do with him being the personification of rest. “Scandalous.”

Hypnos nearly trembled as he closed Zagreus’ door, a new renovation. He didn’t like everyone breaking in his room.

“Hi Zagreus.” Hypnos chirped, floating over towards the nervous prince. He didn’t really know how to approach the topic.

“Were you upset by me leaving?” Zagreus asked. Blurted out even. He was nothing if not impulsive.

“Zagreus. What is this about?” Hypnos asked, his arms were crossed but it seemed to be leaning into hugging himself.

“Just- Please, answer the question.”

“I don’t think it’ll matter. I mean Lord Hades will defeat you! No one escapes the underworld.-”

Zagreus’ brows furrowed. “You don’t think I could?”

“Zagreus. No that’s not what I meant-” Hypnos’ eyes went wide. Stop talking, he told himself. “Are you angry about dying? I’ll always be here to blow steam off of. You can-” Hypnos gripped his hair in a distressed manner. “You can yell at me all you want. Just don’t leave. You can get physical! I’ll be okay. Or I won't- If that’s what you want. Don’t leave Zagreus. Please, I’ll do anything-” His eyes showed desperation and his voice turned into a pathetic mess as he sounded like he was about to burst into sobs.

“Stop!” Zagreus blinked at how Hypnos recoiled. Like a hurt animal at a raised voice. Zagreus felt a rush of horror as what Hypnos had sputtered sunk in. He stared at Hypnos’ panicked expression. “Why do you think I would hurt you?”

“Well. Everyone hurts someone at some point, Zag. I can deal with a little ache as long as you're still there.”

“What? I would never hurt you!” Zagreus gripped the sides of Hypnos’ face. “Stop saying that. Stop it. Why do you want to be hurt so badly?”

Hypnos blinked, but the tears were too strong. They ran down his face, dampening Zagreus’ hands. “Well. I’m getting hurt anyway. Either you hurt me with words or physical harm but you’re still here or you leave me. Abandonment hurts so much more. I’m at least some use. I will make you feel better and even if it disgusts you to see the sight of me, I still see you.”

Okay. Now Zagreus was really staring in horror. He couldn’t even fathom a reply. “What? No! Why would you think that, Hypnos? I love you.” He really didn’t want to confess it but Zagreus was no goddess of misery but even he could feel Hypnos’ travail as if it were palpable. He hoped it would snap Hypnos out of it.

“That never stopped people before, Zagreus! I adore you. You mean the world to me. That’s why I would want you to stay. People I love hurt me but it’s okay-” He let out an (involuntary) ugly wail. “It’s okay because they’re still there and then- then when they-” His throat croaked with another cry that made Zagreus’ heart ache like cracking glass. Shut him up! A voice in his head told him so. He couldn’t stand to see Hypnos like this, he would do anything for the incarnate.

Zagreus pressed a kiss to Hypnos’ lips, not deep enough to be declared one with tongue but definitely more than a peck. Zagreus pulled away, ignoring the dazed expression Hypnos had on his stupidly perfect face. Crap, it felt good to kiss him. Maybe another time he could kiss each one of Hypnos’ star blessed freckles- No. He had a serious problem to address. No thinking about kissing his wonderful best friend that he was absolutely smitten for.

“Hypnos, I’m not lying. I won’t hurt you- or I definitely won’t try to. Why won’t you believe that? I mean why would I want to hurt you? You’re like the sweetest person I’ve ever met.”

It broke Hypnos in half, shattering all composure he had left. He fell apart into ugly sobs, his only solace being when Zagreus pulled him into a comforting hug. A tight, secure, safe, hold. Endymion didn’t care about hurting Hypnos. Pasithea tried to soften the blow, convince him Endymion was wrong and that it wasn’t his fault, but in the end she still left. He was left shattered again. Hera promised safety if Zeus were to catch him but when he woke, Hera had deserted him. Thanatos and Nyx had abandoned him in a way. They were especially torturous, just a few feet away but he couldn’t reach for them. He wasn’t supposed to need them but he did. He wasn’t like Thanatos, he needed someone to hold his hand, he needed someone to hug.

“I promise on the Styx I won’t leave you.” Zagreus tried once Hypnos stopped gasping in between desperate cries. Hypnos' lip began to wobble again. “I won’t do that to you Zag. Not when I know you will eventually do so.”

“But I won’t, Hypnos. What idiot would?”

“They weren’t idiots, Zagreus. Endymion would call you an idiot for wanting me. Well maybe not say it outloud, you are the prince of hell.” Hypnos let out a bitter laugh before freezing, his face flushing a golden color. He stumbled over his words, giggles bubbling up his throat. Not those sour laughs Zagreus hated so much, but his genuine ones. The laughs he let out with that toothy grin, the ones he could see Hypnos’ adorable tooth gap.

“Oh my gods- haha- Zagreus! I was kissed by the prince of hell. Oh my gods! Why would you kiss me? Why would the prince of hell kiss me ? !”

Zagreus grinned. He couldn’t help it. Hypnos was in his arms, finally laughing again. Real laughing with a smile so world rocking it stopped time around Zagreus to the point he acknowledged nothing but Hypnos.

“I want you.” Zagreus held Hypnos arm tightly, securely. A smile twitched as Hypnos grew hot in the face. “Let me prove it to you please.”

Hypnos blinked. “Uhm.. how? As much as I well, uh, I love you,-” Hypnos couldn’t help but grin at the words. “- and want you to stay. I also want you to find your mother and get to Olympus.”

“I have no interest in Olympus.”

“Well, you better at least be looking for your mother. I risked a lot making everyone fall asleep.”

“That was really cool. and powerful.”

“Of course. I’m a child of Nyx, no surprises that I’m super duper powerful, silly prince.” Hypnos chided with a smug expression.

Zagreus laughed, his thumbs rubbing circles into Hypnos’ arms. “Of course my, uh,-” Now it was Zagreus’ face’s turn to dust a red color.

Hypnos eyes shined with that gold color, a pigment that most children of nyx have. He co*cked his head. “What, prince Zagreus?”

It was Zagreus’ time to flush. He burned a bright, vivid red. “Stop teasing me, mate.”

Hypnos giggled. Oh his laugh was so perfect. It made Zagreus’ stomach feel upside down and he got this weird urge to strangle something.

“Of course your lover-” Hypnos braved through and kissed Zagreus, his arms languidly wrapped around his neck. He pulled away and Zagreus instantly missed the sensation. “is what, Zagreus?”

Zagreus' big hands (Hypnos was so much taller than Zagreus but not as muscular, as he was incredibly lanky) found themselves comfortably at Hypnos’ waist. The mere thought, impulsive as it was, of sliding his hands down a little further down made Zagreus’ blood spike and rush through his body.

“Uhm.. I was going to-” Zagreus caught the mischievous glint in Hypnos’ eyes as he stuttered. It felt as if nothing was in his head.

“Use your words, silly! Did the magma scramble your brain?”

“Let me scramble your brain.” Yeah, no thoughts therefore no filter.

“Okay!” Hypnos chirped and between some very strong urges, he still managed to catch the returning golden fluster on his face.

“Okay?” Zagreus blinked. So many thoughts were strangling the stem of his brain, ceasing rational thoughts. He decided to let all his restraint free, in a not very well thought out choice. He grabbed Hypnos and in a swift motion, pushed them onto the bed. Hypnos let out a humored cry as he was pulled down. Blankets and pillows flew up around them from their sudden weight.

—

Morning came, or was it night? Gah, Zagreus never knew. All he knew was that a beautiful curly haired god was sleeping on his chest, legs wrapped around his toned thighs. Legs that were definitely bruised from rough kisses and legs that were so attractive. Zagreus, who didn’t sleep much, was sort of taken aback. He hadn’t realized how many parts of Hypnos were so alluring, aspects he had yet to notice. Alas, he would have to deal with that another time as he had no strength left.

Zagreus’ fingers trailed down from his hair to the middle of his neck. He only stopped because a certain someone jolted as Zagreus’ fingertips merely ghosted the spot. A grin quirked on Zagreus’ face as he felt Hypnos’ lip wobble and his cheeks flush against his pectoral.

“Sorry to wake you, O’ darling Sleep.” Zagreus caressed his cheek (and thought about touching his other cheek). “Or perhaps you like being woken up like that?”

“Shaddup.” Hypnos slurred against his chest with a grumble. “Or i’ll smother you with your own pillow. Or worse, I’ll make you sleep.”

Zagreus laughed. He’ll have to experiment with that certain spot another time.

…

“Hypnos don’t be mad.”

“I’m a very merciful god. usually. unless you touch my poppy fields.” He bragged.

“You have poppy fields?” Zagreus raised an eyebrow.

“I love poppies. I could talk about them for hours!”

“You should. I love it when you talk about things you’re passionate about. I can almost see the stars in your eyes.” Zagreus noted out loud, rubbing circles in the small of Hypnos’ back.

“Such a flatterer.” He laughed.

“I am a prince afterall.” Zagreus kissed him languidly. “Anyway. I uh, forgot to tell you but I can’t escape the underworld.”

“I know yet you got angry when I said the same thing!”

“No, I mean. I’ve beaten my father before but after a bit I’ll die. My soul or something is tied to the realm.”

Hypnos blinked, processing the information. “Blood and darkness! Why wouldn’t you start with that, asshole!” And then to seal the deal, Hypnos hit him in the face with a pillow. Then, he laid back on top of Zagreus and everything was okay again.

“So is that reaction worse or better if I had touched your poppies?”

“Oh, so much better. Atropos did so and I didn't talk to her for,like, thousands of years.”

—

Through a cloud of smoke and a gong-like ring, Thanatos appeared in front of his (never that he would admit it) dearest brother.

“Hypnos.” Thanatos said, voice sounding sharp per usual.

“Heya, Than! You need something? Oh! Do you finally want to sleep?”

“No.” The word was harsher than he meant. Be gentle, his father told him. He was the god of painless death, why was being gentle so hard for him then? He wished he knew someone to blame other than himself.

“That’s not what I meant- well, yes I did mean it. I don’t want to sleep- Just-” He took a deep breath and felt his twin’s gaze on him. It felt like it was burning him. “Have you taken your break yet?”

“Hmm.” Hypnos took a moment to think. “Let me check my list, uhh- Nope! No I have not!”

That eased Thanatos, if he had he would’ve just had to take the blame for this much needed talk. The analogy with the dogs had finally settled in and hit him randomly as he was handing some souls to Charon.

“Good. Meet me..” Thanatos hadn’t really thought this far. Between the shock of realization and Charon’s incessant pushing for him to speak to Hypnos immediately, he truly did not think it through. These things had to be real though right? What was true about rehearsal anyway? “Meet me in Persephone’s garden. I wish to speak to you privately,”

Hypnos blinked and nodded. Scarily, he was silent.

With another guh-dong, Thanatos transported them both (with only one wing, if Hypnos teleported himself he had a large chance of dropping himself in one of the underworld rivers) into the garden. No need to waste the time floating or walking, especially with how nervous Thanatos was. Please, his dearest sisters (the fates), don’t let him mess this up. Maybe he should’ve confided in Philotes first, afterall she was the goddess of friendship.

“I just needed to tell you- Well I wanted to apologize for how I’ve treated you.” Thanatos stared at his hands, shame creeping under his cloak. Thousands of years, and he just now realized what his father tried to tell him.

“Haven’t you already done that? I’ve forgiven you! I don’t think I could ever truly be angry at you.” Hypnos said.

“You..” Thanatos felt his jaw tense. Be gentle, he tried to tell himself. “You forgive too easily.” He remembers how Hypnos was never angry with Endymion, how he blamed himself for Endymion’s treatment towards him. A loyal dog to its awful master.

“Well, if I was just..” Hypnos squeezed the fabric of his red robes. “Was better, I guess, you would’ve never disliked me. I’m not going to lie, I felt sort of abandoned in a way. Emotionally, I guess.” A canine who never ceases its loyalty to its abusers. Thanatos felt sick. Was he just as awful as the horrid (he was so much worse than horrid) Endymion?

“Don’t. It’s not your fault. It’s all me. Just me. I tried to fit you into my view of what you should’ve been when I shouldn’t have. You didn’t deserve that.” He couldn’t look at Hypnos, he wouldn’t be able to stand the tears in his twin’s eyes. His brother, his other half, someone he was supposed to fight alongside, not maltreat. “I’m sorry. Please, Hypnos, let me prove myself better than Endymion. I’ll be a better brother, a friend.”

Hypnos blinked incredulously. “You’re not Endymion, Than. I know he hurt me, he still does to be honest but you were always better than him. You hated him because he hurt me. I don’t believe that you will ever stop because you’ve always been grudgey.” Hypnos wiped the tears out of his eyes. “That’s how I’ve always known how much you loved me. The bond we have, one our sisters forged into our ichor, could never forever maim me. Every wound we can heal.”

Hypnos grabbed Thanatos’ slightly shaking hands. “You’ll always be my best friend. Atropos said so and mom could hardly disobey her. Who are we to?”

Thanatos smiled, such a rare sight indeed. He should get the memory painted so he could frame it in his room. Hypnos wouldn’t lie to himself, he was incredibly proud of himself for getting the moody death incarnate to smile.

It nearly knocked the wind right out of his chest when Thanatos pulled him into a tight hug. It was almost protective. Like he was telling Hypnos that if anyone dared to put a finger on him, physically or emotionally, he wouldn’t hesitate to come to his defense.

Hypnos still felt dizzy when Thanatos pulled away, hands on his (not very muscular) biceps. Hypnos was still blinking, like if he refreshed his mind enough Apate would pop out from the corner and Thanatos would vanish and it’d be revealed that she was just playing a cruel illusion and joke on Hypnos.

Why was everything good happening to him at once? It was like dawn coming, day coming after a very long, mean night. He would welcome Hemera as he welcomed Aether into every one of his movements.

“I just wanted to make sure,” Thanatos started. “You don’t blame yourself for Endymion’s abuse anymore?”

“Ahah, well, it’s confusing. Mainly, I’ve realized that it’s on him. You know? But like, every once in a while I get this sad pit in my stomach and I feel like it is my fault.” Hypnos said, giving him a melancholic smile.

Thanatos opened his mouth to speak, sharply Hypnos would bet. He cut him off.

“But! But! But! I.. uh, got with someone who makes me feel greater and better than Endymion ever did. He treats me so much better, Than! The thought of him just ends up dissolving that pit.” Hypnos blushed just thinking of his new lover. Oh, sweet, attractive, heart-of-gold prince of hell.

“That’s good- wait what! Who? Why didn’t you tell me?” Thanatos barked out. Hypnos didn’t take his usual harshness to heart.

“Welllllll” Hypnos elongated the “L” sound, as it was awkward. Would Thanatos just accept their courtship or would he play the fatal death incarnate, betraying his title of bringer of gentle deaths? Perhaps Zagreus’ impulsiveness had rubbed off on him.

“It’s someone you knowww~. He’s a friend of yours !” Hypnos chirped, ignoring the anxious sweat that built on the back of his neck.

“What are you talking about?- Oh dear gods, no. No! Zagreus?” Hypnos held back his laugh at the pure look of disbelief and disgust. “Why him?”

Now Hypnos burst into giggles. “Than! He’s your friend!”

With that signature gong, he was gone! Then he reappeared. “Wait- My bad. Goodbye, Hypnos. Let’s share some nectar when I get back, after your shift?”

“Course! Now, go intimidate the dearest prince of hell! Shovel talk him into your own grave!” Such weird, morbid replies could only ever come from Hypnos. No one really got his weird jests, as it didn’t make sense most times but he was still able to humor the deities that mattered to him.

Thanatos was gone and Hypnos didn’t see him again until the time they agreed upon. It felt so good, excitement coursing through Hypnos’ form. Work went by so much faster. Hades even complimented his performance and speed! He hardly even felt the tiredness of his being, not a single dream could be better than this. Never had slumber felt so far away without a sense of dread.

—

Zagreus was in the middle of fighting a doomstone when Thanatos’ appeared behind him with the loud gong sound, scaring the sword out of his hand and onto the ground with a clang.

With a delay of three seconds, the doomstone perished by the hands of death. Gentle his ass.

“Than,” Zagreus smiled, picking his sword back up. “Sure scared me.”

“We have to talk.” Thanatos said, but more moodier than usual.

Zagreus had a feeling that Thanatos was not happy but could not pinpoint a possibility.

“Are you angry at me?” Zagreus crossed his arms. He really needed those hearts, as he decided to up his run’s heat so he could get a bottle of ambrosia for Hypnos. Oh. Perhaps that was why.

“You’re courting my brother! I didn’t even know you liked him.” Thanatos said, his voice accusing. A little bit of guilt resided in him still. He didn’t even know his brother was in love again. The way Hypnos swayed when he spoke of the new relationship gave Thanatos a sense of deja vu. Had it really been deja vu? Thanatos seemed to discover a forgotten memory of a much younger Hypnos gushing about this beautiful and funny (and a bunch of other love-struck compliments the mortal did not deserve) mortal shepherd to an also much younger Thanatos. After the rough heartbreak, Hypnos cried in Philotes’ arms and begged her to tell her work associate, Aphrodite, to never curse him with such feelings again. Clearly, Philotes did not mention such words, or more likely, Philotes asked Aphrodite to strike him with such fanciful feelings again.

“Well, I would be an idiot not to. He’s amazing, is he not? Well, maybe I shouldn’t be asking you that.” Zagreus muttered the last part, man, he was really screwing himself out of those centaur hearts.

“Perhaps not but, if you ask me, Hypnos is too good for any of us.” If Zagreus was completely truthful, he would say he saw a little smile flash on Thanatos’ lips.

“I agree.” Was all that Zagreus’ said. To think the god thought so little of himself, to think Zagreus was leagues above him when in truth, Zagreus cared more for Hypnos than all the Olympians and their dearest boons combined (and he actually liked some of them!).

“Do you know who Endymion is?” Thanatos’ hands curled into fists as the mention of his name. If Hypnos wasn’t so adamant about it, Thanatos would’ve probably gone after the shade by now.

Zagreus swallowed, uncomfortably meeting Thanatos’ eyes. If he thought Hypnos was tall, wow. “Uh, yeah. Kind of. Not explicitly. So he was like an awful ex? I’m assuming.”

Thanatos made a disgruntled noise, irritated. He hated thinking of Selene's stupid lover, it sparked an indescribable fiery rage in his gut. “Of sorts. He majorly messed Hypnos up, emotionally. Has an ego larger than those giants Poseidon calls his children.”

Thanatos cleared his throat. “Zagreus, you’re my friend and I enjoy your company but hear me when I say this-” Thanatos floated forward and Zagreus took a step back. “If you turn into the next Endymion, I will not hesitate to put you six feet under Styx. Over and Over. If you’re the next Endymion, then Hypnos will grieve another thousand years over a lover not worth his tears and I will not stop killing you until his pain ceases.”

Zagreus nearly melted underneath the intensity of Thanatos’ gaze. Nice to know he still cared greatly for Hypnos, to threaten his brother’s boyfriend for him. “Good to know.” There was an undesirable high pitch to his voice, which in the end sounded more like a squeak.

“Hey Than,” Zagreus pathetically reached out, to stop Thanatos from leaving so abruptly. “I have a favor to ask of you.”

“Hm?” Thanatos hums as he raises an eyebrow.

“So, I kind of want to get some ambrosia for Hypnos. You know, show him a little love but I’ll probably need those centaur hearts you just love to give me. Wouldn’t you want to help a guy out, one Hypnos lover to another?” Zagreus gave a chuckle, a nervous one, an optimistic one as he placed his hands on his hips.

Dare he say that Thanatos smiled at him. “I guess I could. Don’t get used to my charity service. This is a favor for my brother.” Thanatos dropped the hearts and went away with that classic sound.

Zagreus picked them up and smiled. It was tempting to kill himself using the lava just to see the sleep incarnate’s wonderful face and hear his alluring voice.

—

When Hypnos turned the corner out of the lounge, Nyx’s voice startled him.

“Child.” She spoke. She started a conversation with him for the first time! The look her gaze held had a gentle cradle to it. A similar expression and atmosphere as when she would protectively hold him after his attack from Zeus, she would grasp his soft curls tightly and rock Hypnos back into sleep. Dive into sleep, my son, she told him, I will let no harm come to you now that I am here.

“Mom- Mother-” He corrected himself and opened his mouth to speak and finished his initial response.

“Don’t.” She interrupted. “I am here to explain myself and ask for forgiveness. Do not respond until I ask of it, please, my son?”

Hypnos nodded, a little confused nonetheless.

“I was foolish in my ways. Erebus has made me see that, and I am deeply sorry. I love you unconditionally and-” She winced at how the mere words “I love you” had brought tears to her son’s eyes. “I just wanted you to reach your potential that I know you’re capable of, my strong son.”

“No,” Hypnos’ voice cracked. “No need for that. I’m no Thanatos.”

“To compare the two of you is cruel. How could one compare two of the finest jewels, one appeals to one type of person while the other appeals to others. It does not mean one is better than the other. Do you understand what I am trying to say? I love you two both, equally. Nothing could change that.”

Hypnos’ lip wobbled, sobs threatening to free themselves from his will. “I love you too, mom.”

Nyx pulled him into an embrace and Hypnos missed the feeling of her silks against his palms. He had thought of the comfort it gave him whilr working in his hall and the reminder that Nyx would never allow it again hurt so badly. Apparently that was not the case!

Hypnos cried, quietly, that was as he was never a very loud or brash god, into her robes. “I’m courting Zagreus.” He muttered to her.

She pet his curls, ones as a child she used to relish brushing. Perhaps her son would allow that activity to resume in the future. “I know. I hope you are not too angry but I told Zagrrus a little about you and your issues. I only had your best interests in mind.”

“I could never be angry at you. Not like Eris usually is. Plus, you kickstarted our relationship. This is easily the best thing to happen to me. You, Zag, and now Than. I’m just worried for it all to come crashing back down.”

“Your family will fight for your happiness and well being, remember that. Atropos would also not be so cruel to you.” Nyx said. “You can also thank your father for a lot of this. Me, and Thanatos, at least. If he were not as compassionate, then maybe he wouldn’t have talked so much sense into our foolish ways.”

Hypnos sniffled in response.

Nyx caressed his cheek, oh, she missed her motherly mannerisms and being able to exhibit them. “In some most respectable ways, you are much like him. Compassionate, caring, funny. I see things in you and it reminds me of the most core layers of your father. You bind us in the most emotional of ways.”

Hypnos in a way binded everyone together, with his laughs. The way he cared for others, no matter how much he hurt. After a very long time, such generosities were finally paid.